Dear Ruby,
I have been communicating with a woman online that contacted me after I made teasing comments on her Face Book posts. She uses very loving words and claims she cares about me deeply. She seems sincerely interested in my everyday activity. I have to admit I am very drawn to this person although we have shared nothing more than pictures. Is it possible to fall for someone in this situation, or is it a simple infatuation?
Best regards, FB.Romance
Dear FB.Romance,
There’s a particular kind of vulnerability that comes with loving someone you’ve never met. It doesn’t look like the kind of love people recognize or validate easily. There are no shared dinners, no familiar touch, no casual glances across a room. Instead, it lives in words, in pauses between messages, in the way your heart reacts to a name lighting up your screen.
And somehow… it’s real.
I didn’t expect it to happen. I told myself I was just passing time, just talking, just being curious. But somewhere between “How was your day?” and “I miss you,” something shifted. It became personal. It became emotional. It became something I couldn’t easily explain to anyone else without feeling a little foolish.
How do you explain missing someone whose hand you’ve never held? The difficult part isn’t just the distance. It’s the doubt. The quiet voice that asks: Is this real? Is this enough? Am in building something meaningful, or am I filling in the blanks with my own imagination? And yet, despite all of that, there are moments that feel undeniable. The comfort in being understood. The excitement of being wanted. The way someone can reach into your day and change your mood completely with just a few words. That’s not imagined. That’s felt.
Still, it can be scary. You find yourself holding back parts of your heart, even while giving so much of it away. You wonder if you’re being naive. You wonder if they’re as sincere as you are. You wonder what would happen if the distance disappeared, would the connection survive in the real world?
But maybe that’s the beauty and the risk of it. You are choosing to feel something without guarantees. You are allowing yourself to be seen, through thoughts, through honesty, through emotion, without the safety net of physical presence. And in a strange way, that kind of emotional exposure can be even more intimate than anything else.
I think what surprises me most is not that I care… but how deeply I do. There’s no script for this. No clear outcome. Just two people, somewhere in the world, choosing to show up for each other in the only way they can. And maybe that’s enough. Or maybe it’s just the beginning of something that asks for more.
Either way… it’s real to me.
—Ruby