Category: Relationships

Sexless

  • Ruby
  • May 6, 2026
  • 0

Dear Ruby, I have been in what I consider to be a sexless marriage for a long time. It’s probably mostly my fault, much of […]

Learning to flirt

Lesson: Why attraction starts before a word is spoken.

You don’t meet someone the moment you say “hello.”
You meet them the moment your eyes lock, even for a second.
That quiet pause… that slight smile… that feeling that something just shifted, you can’t fake that. And most people miss it because they’re too busy thinking about what to say next.
Attraction isn’t about perfect lines. It’s about presence.
It’s the way you carry yourself, the confidence in your posture, the calmness in your voice. It’s letting a moment breathe instead of rushing to fill it.
A woman notices when a man looks at her with intention, not staring, not desperate, but aware. A man notices when a woman holds eye contact just a second longer than necessary, then looks away with a hint of a smile.

That’s where it starts.

Flirting isn’t chasing. It’s inviting.
It’s creating a moment where both people feel something, and neither one has to force it.
Most people are starving for that kind of connection. Not loud, not aggressive… just real.
And the truth?
If you learn to master that quiet moment… you’ll never need a pickup line again.

Ask Ruby


Loving in the Unknown

There’s a particular kind of vulnerability that comes with loving someone you’ve never met. It doesn’t look like the kind of love people recognize or validate easily. There are no shared dinners, no familiar touch, no casual glances across a room. Instead, it lives in words, in pauses between messages, in the way your heart reacts to a name lighting up your screen.

And somehow… it’s real.

I didn’t expect it to happen. I told myself I was just passing time, just talking, just being curious. But somewhere between “How was your day?” and “I miss you,” something shifted. It became personal. It became emotional. It became something I couldn’t easily explain to anyone else without feeling a little foolish.

Because how do you explain missing someone whose hand you’ve never held?

The difficult part isn’t just the distance. It’s the doubt. The quiet voice that asks:Is this real? Is this enough?

Am in building something meaningful, or am I filling in the blanks with my own imagination?

And yet, despite all of that, there are moments that feel undeniable. The comfort in being understood. The excitement of being wanted. The way someone can reach into your day and change your mood completely with just a few words. That’s not imagined. That’s felt.

Still, it can be scary.

You find yourself holding back parts of your heart, even while giving so much of it away. You wonder if you’re being naive. You wonder if they’re as sincere as you are. You wonder what would happen if the distance disappeared, would the connection survive in the real world?

But maybe that’s the beauty and the risk of it.

You are choosing to feel something without guarantees. You are allowing yourself to be seen—through thoughts, through honesty, through emotion—without the safety net of physical presence. And in a strange way, that kind of emotional exposure can be even more intimate than anything else.

I think what surprises me most is not that I care… but how deeply I do.

There’s no script for this. No clear outcome. Just two people, somewhere in the world, choosing to show up for each other in the only way they can.

And maybe that’s enough. Or maybe it’s just the beginning of something that asks for more.

Either way… it’s real to me.

—Ruby